My Blog

A couple of days ago, I finished a sewing project and it turned out pretty cool :D. The plan was so simple, literally just sew two strawberries on this shirt I thought was nice but had further potential, but so many things went wrong...Mainly with a modification to the collar but I wont get into here because I don't even have the power to put my thoughts into words.

I'm thinking of making a page to show my sewing creations but not only do I not have a lot yet I am also not confident in my skill, I'm scared it'll be embarrassing. I don't have too much to show anyways, in fact this is the first sewing project I've finished LOL

Found out I misspelled my email address when making it. I typed it as artificalfruit instead of artificialfruit. Crush me.

Friday I spent the night at my friend's place and we baked cookies. We may have added too much butter and during the entire cooking duration it was looking like it would turn out to be another disaster but they didn't come out half bad! also we followed a youtube short lady's tutorial on how to make tanghulu which actually worked and we made tanghulu wow!! but it was so sugary.

There we also planned to make shrinky dinks and sketched out some ideas, though I was the only one to start drawing them on the plastic. I drew a ton of designs but only ended up making 3 of them

First one I did was this korilakkuma + daifuku. That awkward hole on the top was my crude first attempt at cutting a small circle w/ just scissors because we didn't have a hole punch.

I also made one of N and a strawberry as a basic test. Also my hole cutting tech got better.

I didn't actually bake these at their house. In the morning when I got back I baked them in our own toaster oven. I was so excited to bake them (the N one specifically cause, you know)

It ended up being a little bit disastrous; immediately upon putting them in the oven they started crinkling and my mom and I had to go in for support by just forcing them to lay down with a folded piece of paper. Casualties occured.

Anyways, here are the results:

The best one was probably the N one. Despite all it's abnormalities caused by the crinkling, it's still kind of cute :3

I bought the type of shrinky dink paper that has a scratched and smooth side. The rough side is meant for coloring, and thus the colors show up better, but bakes into an unsatisfying texture and doesn't have that appealing smooth texture like manufactured acrylic keychains. The smooth side has a much nicer texture and the colors appear smoother but the colors look a bit more washed out.

And even tho I thought I did a good job coloring, there are still some inconvinent transparent gaps. Also for some reason some parts of the plastic are thicker than others. I think it has something to do with the different areas' distance from the heat.

I attached a ball chain I randomly just had (pros of being a hoarder) so now he's a keychain, hanging on my wall rn! he looks a bit stupid and I kind of hate that cause it destroys something about him that makes him great but...he's still cute so its ok

Next is the korilakkuma one. I ended up cutting off the keychain hole last minute bc I truly didn't have any faith in its functionality (also it looked ugly) so now this guy is just a trinket with no purpose. maybe if I find a pin backing I can turn him into a thumbtack

It looks pretty cute. His head shrank though which makes him look kind of silly.

I'm not gonna show the strawberry one cause that's probably the one that I fumbled the most badly. Also like an idiot I cracked it trying to push it down to stay flat when it was already completely hard so. Also it became so small and folded into a bloated shape kind of. Shrinky dink material is not forgiving.

the lessons learned to keep in mind for future shrinky dink projects: draw designs bigger (consider the fact they shrink down to 1/3 of size), probably best to keep your cutouts a simple shape, color as uniformly as possible

Last note. Apparently I did something wrong so this page acutally doesnt save your theme choice all the time (it only works if you refresh). time to get back to work studying up javascript (shamelessly sniping lines of code till something works) I guess

I literally have so many things I have to do concerning this site that are easy small things to finish but I keep forgetting or putting it off for later. Find another person more consistent with finishing a layout for a sitemap page but never making the links work correctly. Ok bye :D

Good day overall I guess. Went grocery shopping, for me we bought a sleeve of Goya Maria cookies. They taste like glorified graham crackers

One of the goals for this summer was to get better at anatomy and just drawing in general and err going fuckin (ಥ﹏ಥ)

My biggest problem, which I've realized for a while, is that my linework is just so messy. Not that I chicken scratch but like I do advanced chicken scratch. I'll draw a line confidentally, but then immediately realize that it's not in the correct position or too wide or something, then draw another line near it then realize that's not correct either then suddenly I have 4 whole lines. Then when I come back to that part of the drawing I'll draw even more lines to like hide it and it just looks thick and messy. It's very bad when you see this in the entire artwork. I realize this is a pretty bad description but im rlly tired so I'll just let you interpret what I'm saying

I just have a lot of bad habits to drawing lines I've severely internalized and need to unlearn but its really hard. I never learned anatomy "properly" bu I've developed/become acustomed to drawing things a certain way that when I'm doing gesture drawings I just forget to follow the method and just go rogue, drawing things incorrectly

On top of that until today I've been taking a very bad approach to simplifying the form. My previous method was to represent the head, torso, and pelvis w/ a cube/trapezoidal prism and limbs w/ cubes. Firstly, I really didn't get how to angle the head as a prism and that would waste time (I was doing them timed). also the pose always looked really stiff.

Biggest thing though is just I fundamentally didn't get the point of gesture drawings. I'd try to define all the complex curves and folds of the body and it would look wack when it would be more effective if I just focused on simplification for now. The point of gesture drawings is just to draw the essence of the pose, something I didnt understand LOL. But I learned and am trying to be better now on.

Today I tried to follow a more effective approach to simplifying the form. Instead of going in to draw the limbs with just cylinders I used lines first (or I tried. defaulted to cylinders sometime lol). Also I'm trying to used ovals for head/torso now. Also using more shapes i.e. slope things for the shoulders and scapulas

Things I still struggle with are like just gauging the position/length of things, getting pespective/foreshortening correct and making the head too small. Also my sketches still look like ass I think I'm too heavyhanded; thats another problem.

I've been getting in my head about seemingly not improving. I look at drawings I did months ago, sometimes even 2023 stuff and I just think either it looks like I haven't improved at all from then or I actually fell offDJNKWLKD.

But I have to have I think right (lets remain optimistic).

Last thing I'll share rn is some drawings.

A traditional doodle I made either when I was bored as hell or like when I felt sooooo bad it was crazy. When I started I didn't know it turn out so awesome man ^__^ It's like some character editor or dressup game thing but with stupidly complex, needlessly fancy ui in the form of a lot of seperate popups. I wanted it to have "screenshot of a game that seems impossible to get into" energy. The part on the bottom right and also w/ the physical stats the "done" box (bottom center) was just me trying to fill space loll but it still turned out cute I think.

Another traditional thing ft. the oc akira. As I mentioned in a previous blog, this is in fact who mawile is the namesake of ^__^ looks ass right now but Ill clutch up SOON. I wanted to render more but I was getting in my head abt the correctness of the pose and also when I thought I was finally satisfied I realized the head looked way too big. By the time I was satisfied the sun was coming down and I like drawing in natural light cause the very warm light of my rooms lamp trips me up. There are still some obvious mistakes but mannn idgaf anymore. Shading will save it. (p.s. can u tell how much I erased (o-_-o)

Oh yeah pixel art peep the corner. I was happy with it until I realized all the mistakes. Still not too ugly right...I'll fix that pixel and all those lines I forgot to clean soon ummmm.

Ok thats it bye ★

Life is perfectly all fine. When I say fine I mean it’s a constant finicky peduleum swinging from AWESOME to NOOOO at it’s will reacting to every twitch. Nothing is good for long, but it’s not too bad.

[Problem] has truly arose now. It’s always been there, one of the biggest things that proves we aren’t really a proper family. But the key difference is that before it was more like an awkward mist that was present but easily ignored, specifically by my dad…Well maybe the thought of it weighed heavy on my mom’s head idk I find it hard to think about their thought process at all…but anyways, [problem] actually manifested into something urgent and finally my dad’s realized it. but not really. He still dgaf i think. Now I got to hear them yelling abt stuff every day I wake up. It’s so fire.

I think it’s cause he’s getting older, thus becoming crankier, but my dad’s gotten so much more tempermental/quick to anger. he thinks he’s always right and snaps all the time. It was prevalent before but in recent months it’s gotten noticeably more prevalent. so hard to deal with LOL.

Other stuff that I want to talk about but that would be oversharing I think

whatever, Life is still relatively good nonetheless. Better that I’m out of school. I think I’ve finally adjusted to being out of school because in the beginning of break,. Now the distant worry of summer break ending scares me because especially the past school year and especially in the latter half was total hell and if I gotta do another round of that I might cease.

What did I do today? Right now it’s the afternoon as I write this so I’ll list everything up to this point.

1. woke up
2. opened my phone i think and did my daily probably toxic scroll through instagram (which I downloaded quite a bit ago cause specific people kept pestering me abt it, also I missed being able to catch music releases/know what my fav artists are up to cause they’re all on ig for whatever reason)
3. ate breakfast, kellogs corn flakes w strawberries. Honestly most fire best ever cereal ever but like Im scared i’ll get tired of it like I do with other foods I champion as my “designated favs”
4. Played some more pokemon. Past few days I didn’t play a lot because I was busy with my ACT/SAT prep class (thats what I vaguely referred to by “prep course” previous entry) and also just kind of hated looking at screens but wow look at me! back at it! I got my gyarados and defeated Norman; it was lowkey a breeze. Also since I was back in Petalburg I caught Ralts because Gardevoir. Deliberating on whether to bench breloom or nuzleaf for them.
5. Made lunch: Homemade avocado + egg sandwich. Everytime I cook it’s so botched and messy lol but it tasted pretty good. The avocado was still not ripe enough and also the contents really wanted to spill out cause the content-toast ratio was heavily skewed but it still tasted goood so like whats really the problem. Oh yeah also mediocre peach yogurt
6. Now I’m writing this. I think after I’m done w this and upload it I’ll go to the park and read, despite the heay advisory cause I’m just like that. I keep forgetting how hot it really is. My blinding optimism + yearning to do something so romantic and cute like going to the park to read really makes me forget abt my biggest weakness (the heat).

ok bye err hope ur enjoying it all :)

I’ve decided to pick up blogging again on neocities. I haven’t written a blog in a while. My bearblog, which I keep very lowkey, was used as my digital journal after I took down my og cringe ass site-based blog but has since also died.

I’ve decided to start anew. Maybe I’ll keep up on this, and if I don’t I’ll try to at least force myself to write a decent amount of entries then after summer ends I’ll wrap this all up into a nice bow and rebrand it to be a “2024 summer chronicles” and toss it aside.

also one of my summer assignments is to keep a scrapbook summer journal idk I didn’t really read the description I just kind of skimmed through the instructions and decided to open up canva and make some shitty journal looking thing (expertly designed to look like more effort was put into it than what is actually the case). I’m writing about some of my daily life as well as the happenings I experience in the off chance I do do something that isn’t the ordinary routine of being online for too long and then walking to the park to read (not as a choice but still pleasant. so fucking hot tho).

Or at least that’s what I plan to do. I was finding it really hard to write about my life or have any motivation to finish it all. I started it last couple of weeks of June (~2 weeks after summer break began), and now it’s July and my first real entry isn’t even done yet. I have very little motivation. Canva is so hard to get used to after you hard invested into literally knowing google slides on a deep spiritual level.

I need to get to the point! so I’m journaling cause I think it would be easy for me to adapt/edit these blogs to put into the summer journal because by making this a more personal venture I can tie to my beloved (sometimes loathed) website, I’ll hate the process less. Ok now you can read the thoughts I was gonna share if I didn’t feel the need to brace this with 5 paragraphs of exposition:

Don’t you also hate when you have a very fucked up habit in your life that you’re already very aware of but like there’s something mentally that just stops you from putting in the effort to fix it, and you can’t really nail down why exactly but it’s vaguely clear? For me it’s a lot of things; I’m bad at taming my impulses, but what comes to mind right now is my sleep schedule.

On Monday my prep course starts and it begins at 9 am in the morning. Really uncharitable and unfair. I have to clock in & get as much sleep as possible or I might actually perish.

Or maybe I’m making it a bigger deal than it actually is because today I went to volunteer for this fundraiser (started at 11) and deadass naturally woke up 6. I set all 5 of those alarms that were each 5-10 minute intervals from 9-9:30 for nothing!

Fundraiser was not as agonizing as I thought it would be, but everyone there was older than me in that age range where we can joke and be friendly comfortably but like it’s limited to a certain extent before it becomes weird. If we met on the internet it wouldn’t be as weird. Isn’t that funny.

They were nice. It was so hot. Thought I was being virtuous and showing resilience to the natural forces and my manly limits by standing for 2+ hours straight and having to act all peppy and friendly as if I’m not the worst damn never being selfless when nobody asked again

BLAH BLAH BALHSL LETS TALK ABOUT POKEMON honestly writing this all out of order and jumping around this document and don’t really care for smooth transitions wmore hope this isn’t too hard to read. Hope my casual style of writing (run on sentences and tenses all over the place + switching the topic every 2 sentences) makes this if hard to read at least entertaining.

I’ve been a pokemon fan since I was a stupid baby, but because of my age and like the capabilities I could exercise as a 8 year old watching youtube videos I didn’t know how to play the game. It never crossed my mind to ask my parents to get me a gameboy or ds w/ a cartridge because my family just doesn’t do things like that.

Thus I developed parasocial little brother for most of my peak pokemon fandom, just watching play throughs of the game, those compilations of people dubbing comics, fusion or mega evolution speedpaints, tier lists, etc. That is how I got to know it.

But I gradually fell out of love with it and I can’t exactly pinpoint exactly a time frame of when but I just kind of stopped tapping in. Do not ask me anything about the gens/games after Galar cause idfk. Why is Palkia a horse now???

Up to now I thought about it sometimes. The thought would cross my mind how I’m just out of it and it made me a bit sad thinking about how Pokemon might just become some old interest impossible to get back into.

But now I’m having a Renaissance with pokemon. One day I decided I really wanted to play a game so I did the thing (because now I have enough mobility to do that !!!!!!). Found emulator, downloaded ROM…it’s actually embarrassing because I had to like find a emulator that worked w chrome. the two computers I use are both results of my dad’s hoarding cheap/free things he finds off neighborhood app habit. one is this old ass mac that has a problem w/ the screen that you have to smack the back of it to fix and the other one is this chromebook that's newer so it's less slow but the downside is that it locks me into using fucking google chrome.

For this I decided to use the chromebook cause I think the mac would actually die if it tried to run it (assuming it used a lot of computing power to run and app like an emulator) but this meant it took more effort than just hitting up the sites I follow’s emulator lists cause I actually had to search for something myself bro!!!!

Anyways I found one that works just in browser + ruby running on it. I chose gen 3 because it’s a gen I’m pretty familiar with and also I like the pixel style. The colors are nice.

From the start I didn’t plan on going in chronological order cause tbh I don’t know if I’m ready for the gen 1 & 2 heat yet. But I didn’t want to play my favorite gen, gen 5 either because I’m not ready for it in a different way…I want to save it for later and actually savor it after I get a handle on actually playing these types of games. And even though Kyogre is the one I prefer between the two Hoenn legendaries I’m playing ruby because it’s the first ROM I found (downloaded it to test if the emulator worked and got too excited to stop playing loll)

I’ve been playing for now four days as I’m writing this and it’s crazy. I really thought I’d never actually play the game, I’d just experience pokemon games through watching some guy play it instead and that by the time I had enough independance to buy my own things, I’d be out of my pokemon phase.

Only watching videos of the game though has warped my perception of how easy it would be first run. I have done a lot of embarrassingly idiotic things. Time has made me forget the type chart.

And now I’m loosely following this Bulbapedia walkthrough because if I don’t I’ll make no progress ever. I’m also embarrasingly bad at remembering directions in this game and am still not used to like exploring the area so I’ll miss the route you’re supposed to go through every time I pass it and then proceed to get confused/frustrated where I’m supposed to go next it’s both funny and deeply personally humiliating.

And I still haven’t figured out some stuff like how many pokemon I’m supposed to really have right now and what level I should be for each gym. I'll make it through the trainers leading up to the main gym battle easily then survive the actual gym leader by the skin of my teeth ??

Right now I’ve clocked in 11:11 in-game hours and have 3 gym badges. Stalling/trying my hardest to level up this fucking Magicarp so I have an answer for Flannery (2/4 of my team is part grass). Right now it’s at lvl 16, 4 more to go (＋_＋)...

All in all I’ve been enjoyinging my time, it’s still so awesome to me I’m finally doing this. I’ll end this now because honestly this is getting long and I probably can’t even repurpose 90% of this to be for my summer journal project so lol. I’ll end this off showing my team right now: